Start Founding, Here and Now
Unicorn Valley is a safe and easy-to-use platform for founding potential unicorns. Anyone can launch their startup within seconds, regardless of the quality of their idea.
| S Valley | Unicorn Valley | |
|---|---|---|
| Remote Work | ❌ comes with pay cut | ✅ work from anywhere |
| Visa | ❌ H1B visa required | ✅ no visa required |
| Cost of Housing | ❌ ridiculous, crippling | ✅ zero |
Snazzy Tech
We use only bleeding-edge versions of the coolest JS frameworks. We migrate our codebase every few weeks to the hottest new stack on Hacker News.
Fast-Moving
No QA, no polish, no blockers. Nothing stands between our code and you. Our code is so fresh, if you want it any fresher, you'll have to write it yourself.
Free Credits
Like any proper startup we don't have a monetisation strategy and we spend too much time coding to think of one, so in the meantime you get to use Unicorn Valley for free.
Crypto Cred
Unlike Jimmy Wales, we store our valuable data on an award-winning blockchain platform. Watch out for our upcoming cryptocurrrency — aptly named BitCorn 🌽.
Obligatory Apocryphal Founding Myth
Not too long ago, our founders were slowly coming to terms with the growing realisation that they would shortly exhaust their runway, and be forced across the thin line separating founders from unemployment. Contemplating the loss of their C-suite titles, it was then that they realised the source of their failure and a potential opportunity.
Clearly, their lack of success was entirely attributable to the absence of a garage. This glaring omission quickly remedied, they turned their attention to the opportunity: the vast majority of people in the world are in fact non-founders. The brains of the billions and billions of these non-founders, all of whom obviously harbouring a secret desire to found unicorns, remained unpicked. And so Unicorn Valley was born.
Our continuing mission
To connect the world with the Valley,
and organise the trillions of billion-dollar ideas within.
What we overheard people saying about us
This site uses HTTPS so everything on it must be true.
We believe Bitcorn's innovative proof of sloth consensus algorithm has the potential to massively reduce our carbon footprint… possibly even reverse climate change and rejuvenate our ice caps.
Who controls the memes, controls the Universe
…Unicorn Valley. It's really good.